beepsalt neocities stuff

the schizophrenia keeps making him go back to this same poem over & over about how much he shouldn't love music & sometimes he brings up her name. (I worry for her for no reason.)
I'm weak so every few months I go searching for him. I'm hoping I can get a glimpse of a street sign in a video.
but I get mad because I only ever see one street name at any time & it's Chicago so I can't find the point on the grid without both axes!!
& anyway I know if I saw him on the street he'd just threaten to kill me again but he looks like me and I know he's near by and I feel sorry for him.
even though we only met once.
even though I can't fix everything.
I just want to fix him. I feel like I could make him okay again.
I know that I can't,
I'll deal with it later